Being grateful is a lesson I learn over and over again.
Yesterday I was doing something I felt I ought to, which I felt responsible to do, but which I was doing with an ungrateful heart.
Whilst I was out buying groceries and pondering my situation, I noticed a man behind me with a bag of bare bones in his hand. It was his dinner. He had left it at the till earlier that day because, after weighing it, he realised he couldn't afford it and had to go back outside (where he worked as a car guard) to make more money. My heart broke. Sometimes (especially in S.A.) you see so much poverty and desperation that you become immune to it. Something about this man was different. When I looked into his eyes I saw such sadness and desperation. I couldn't look away or ignore the situation so, tears in my eyes, I paid for my groceries and waited for him.
I gave him what cash I had on me and he didn't ask why, he just accepted it and said thank you. I feel like on so many occassions God presents me with a situation, and in doing so teaches me a valuable lesson.
On a daily basis we worry about so many stupid things, feeling pity for ourselves and envy for others; complaining about what we perceive to be the worst situation.
We forget that as unhappy as we may sometimes be with our lives that there is someone out there who would trade places with us in a heartbeat; who envies what you and I take for granted. I thought about our rusted, somewhat broken and unreliable car that up until yesterday was the bane of my existence. After meeting that man I took a good look around me at all those who either walk to work or who wait for public transport (often catching two taxis or more to get where they need to be) because they can't afford a vehicle. How lucky are we?
I realised yesterday that I have forgotten where I have come from. Back when I was waitressing for a living, I had only one pair of black pumps which I wore for every one of my five shifts a week. They were smelly and holey, and yet I wore them because they were the only pair I could afford. There were so many customers who were incredibly kind to me during that period of my life.
What happened yesterday reminded me of a conversation Matt and I had recently. Having just moved, I grew tired of unpacking night after night. Before we knew it a month had gone by and only three quarters of our boxes had been unpacked, yet we had all the essentials we needed to get by on a daily basis. We sat and wondered at what was in those remaining boxes and whether we really had any use for what was inside of them. I've come to realise that we have more than enough stuff for one lifetime.
I have therefore made a promise to myself that each time I intend to buy something I don't need this coming year, that I think about that man.
I want to spend this year giving back and giving away, not spending and accumulating more.
And that will be my New Year's resolution.
