A Change In Perspective

Being grateful is a lesson I learn over and over again.

Yesterday I was doing something I felt I ought to, which I felt responsible to do, but which I was doing with an ungrateful heart.

Whilst I was out buying groceries and pondering my situation, I noticed a man behind me with a bag of bare bones in his hand.  It was his dinner. He had left it at the till earlier that day because, after weighing it, he realised he couldn't afford it and had to go back outside (where he worked as a car guard) to make more money. My heart broke. Sometimes (especially in S.A.) you see so much poverty and desperation that you become immune to it. Something about this man was different. When I looked into his eyes I saw such sadness and desperation. I couldn't look away or ignore the situation so, tears in my eyes, I paid for my groceries and waited for him.
I gave him what cash I had on me and he didn't ask why, he just accepted it and said thank you. I feel like on so many occassions God presents me with a situation, and in doing so teaches me a valuable lesson.

On a daily basis we worry about so many stupid things, feeling pity for ourselves and envy for others; complaining about what we perceive to be the worst situation.
We forget that as unhappy as we may sometimes be with our lives that there is someone out there who would trade places with us in a heartbeat; who envies what you and I take for granted. I thought about our rusted, somewhat broken and unreliable car that up until yesterday was the bane of my existence. After meeting that man I took a good look around me at all those who either walk to work or who wait for public transport (often catching two taxis or more to get where they need to be) because they can't afford a vehicle. How lucky are we?

I realised yesterday that I have forgotten where I have come from. Back when I was waitressing for a living, I had only one pair of black pumps which I wore for every one of my five shifts a week. They were smelly and holey, and yet I wore them because they were the only pair I could afford. There were so many customers who were incredibly kind to me during that period of my life.

What happened yesterday reminded me of a conversation Matt and I had recently. Having just moved, I grew tired of unpacking night after night. Before we knew it a month had gone by and only three quarters of our boxes had been unpacked, yet we had all the essentials we needed to get by on a daily basis. We sat and wondered at what was in those remaining boxes and whether we really had any use for what was inside of them. I've come to realise that we have more than enough stuff for one lifetime.

I have therefore made a promise to myself that each time I intend to buy something I don't need this coming year, that I think about that man.

I want to spend this year giving back and giving away, not spending and accumulating more.

And that will be my New Year's resolution.

Taking The Good From The Bad

I share this story with trepidation, but hope that in doing so I can help someone who may be struggling with something similar in their own lives.

I don't have a great relationship with my father, in fact at the moment I don't have a relationship with him at all. Most of the time I'm okay with this, but sometimes in certain situations, like seeing an amazing dad taking good care of his children, or hearing a father's kind words to his daughter I hit a bit of a wobbly and I'll admit, it brings me down.

My dad has never been a great father or role model to me, but last week after mulling it over in my quiet time and after numerous pep talks from my husband (also known as my rock) I decided that although I can't go back in time and choose what type of dad I ended up with, I can choose how I look at the situation.

My dad may have lacked a great many much needed emotional qualities but I can take my deep love of books, and poetry in particular from him; my love of National Geographic writers and photographers; nature and hiking; as well as an above average appreciation for amazing photography.

I may be the only child I know of who at a young age visited every cultural site, museum and nature reserve in Durban thanks to my dad, and because of that I will pass these types of experiences onto my own children one day. At a young age this fuelled my inquisitive mind and my love of stories.

He is partly responsible for my brown hair, blue eyes and stellar organisational skills (aka OCPD).

Because of my dad, I didn't choose just any husband, I chose one whose love is unconditional, and who cherishes me daily. I chose a husband who will be an amazing father to our future children one day: tender, supportive and responsible.

Because of my dad I know I will do everything in my power to create a happy, loving home and family.  My children (when I have them one day) will always feel safe and supported.

I am who I am partly due to him: a survivor; independent and stronger because of him in a weird way.

What I learnt from this week, is that no matter what situation you are struggling with at the moment, instead of focussing on the negative (which is a heck of alot easier to do) always...always try to take the good from the bad.

Trading Fear for Faith

Trading Fear for Faith

Today's topic is one that's very close to my heart, and something that keeps arising in my life recently, so I wanted to share it with you all. Maybe it is something you have been struggling with too.

We all like to believe that we are masters of our own destiny, and if that we don't keep all the balls up in the air everything would fall apart. This is not the case.

So many times in my life I have felt confused, overwhelmed and at my wits end. Trying to do it all alone and failing miserably. In these moments we are not alone. God is with us and he is guiding us. Sometimes he gives us trials which make no sense to us at the time, but he does this so that we can learn and grow as individuals. So often I can look back at a trying time in my life and can see the purpose in it: the reason I had to go through it in order to come out stronger and happier than I was before.

At our church, Christoff delivered a very powerful sermon asking us to trade fear for faith, believing that God is in control and that he will answer our prayers in his time.

I trade fear for faith that...
God hears my prayers
That this is all part of God's plan for me
That things will only continue to get better for our little family
That I will feel happy and whole again soon

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

What fear is it that you may be struggling to trade for faith?

Please trust that everything happens for a reason, and that you are not alone.