Taking The Good From The Bad

I share this story with trepidation, but hope that in doing so I can help someone who may be struggling with something similar in their own lives.

I don't have a great relationship with my father, in fact at the moment I don't have a relationship with him at all. Most of the time I'm okay with this, but sometimes in certain situations, like seeing an amazing dad taking good care of his children, or hearing a father's kind words to his daughter I hit a bit of a wobbly and I'll admit, it brings me down.

My dad has never been a great father or role model to me, but last week after mulling it over in my quiet time and after numerous pep talks from my husband (also known as my rock) I decided that although I can't go back in time and choose what type of dad I ended up with, I can choose how I look at the situation.

My dad may have lacked a great many much needed emotional qualities but I can take my deep love of books, and poetry in particular from him; my love of National Geographic writers and photographers; nature and hiking; as well as an above average appreciation for amazing photography.

I may be the only child I know of who at a young age visited every cultural site, museum and nature reserve in Durban thanks to my dad, and because of that I will pass these types of experiences onto my own children one day. At a young age this fuelled my inquisitive mind and my love of stories.

He is partly responsible for my brown hair, blue eyes and stellar organisational skills (aka OCPD).

Because of my dad, I didn't choose just any husband, I chose one whose love is unconditional, and who cherishes me daily. I chose a husband who will be an amazing father to our future children one day: tender, supportive and responsible.

Because of my dad I know I will do everything in my power to create a happy, loving home and family.  My children (when I have them one day) will always feel safe and supported.

I am who I am partly due to him: a survivor; independent and stronger because of him in a weird way.

What I learnt from this week, is that no matter what situation you are struggling with at the moment, instead of focussing on the negative (which is a heck of alot easier to do) always...always try to take the good from the bad.