Being pregnant comes with a host of realisations:
1) I will never not be tired again. I thought this one would be reserved for after the baby's birth, but as it turns out you spend the first three months of pregnancy alternating between nausea and exhaustion, and as I hear the last three months uncomfortable and exhausted. I keep waiting for that three month sweet spot in the middle of pregnancy when I apparently get to be super-Jenny again
2) It is unlikely I will ever get to wake up at 10h00 again, pretend the world doesn't exist, and spend the rest of the day reading my favourite book or watching an entire season of my favourite series whilst wearing my most comfy pj's
3) Having to give birth is inevitable...and just a little scary
4) Everyone will have an opinion about your pregnancy and what you should and should not be doing
5) Having dedicated myself solely to childcare previously (being an au-pair) it occurs to me that trying to balance being a mom, a wife, an employee and managing a household may not be entirely the same experience
6) My OCPD will have to be overcome. My pristine grey fabric couch will never look the same again; our lounge will become the playroom; my complete set of duck egg cups and plates may not stay that way for very long and there will always be a pile of laundry to be done
7) I will be a little bit fat for a little while
8) My husband and I will have to adjust to decreased date nights; fewer long conversations and cuddles on the couch etc. Basically the time of being "just us two" is nearing an end, and I will probably have a more difficult time adjusting to this than my husband, so I try to savour the moments of togetherness while I still can
9) And finally babies can be expensive. Between doctors visits (that you thought would be covered by your medical aid but aren't); nappies; covering three months of unpaid maternity leave and childcare (once I'm back at work) there is alot to consider and save for
But then...I think about how I finally get to raise a child of my own; I think of how his/her hair will smell when I rock them to sleep at night; I think of pastel onesies and soft baby-sized socks; I think of staring down at the most beautiful face in the entire world whilst nursing; I think of watching soccer games with Matt, me and baby inbetween (dressed in team colours of course); I dream of passing on my love of nature and reading, and I think of what it will feel like to be called mom. I will finally understand that feeling of "having your heart walking around outside your body". I spend my time wondering if baby will be quiet, shy, sweet and creative or loud, sociable, mischevious and affectionate? Either way I know that his smile will melt my heart, in much the same way that his daddy's did.
Being pregnant is equal parts worry and excitement...and yet I wouldn't dream of having it any other way. I cannot wait to meet my baby and hold him in my arms
