Being A Momma Is Not For Sissies

I said to Heloise the other day (and I stand by my statement) that being a momma is not for sissies.

Being a mom is incredibly rewarding, a calling if you will, but something they don't tell you is....it's tough!

3 months in and I have learnt the following:
1) Having a baby makes you so vulnerable. You worry about their health and safety every minute of every day. You worry if you're doing the right thing, you'll make a decision and then instantly second guess yourself. You'll get it wrong and try to do better next time
2) Getting an appointment with a paediatrician is a bit like winning the lottery
3) Babies will make you broke. You will buy every piece of expensive baby equipment you swore was a waste of money, in an effort to stop the crying - cot mobiles; rocker/bouncer seats etc.
4) You will find yourself defending/protecting/fighting for your child with a momma bear voice and attitude you never knew you had
5) People are full of well meaning, yet stupid advice and opinions
6) You will never truly be alone again
7) You will never get to eat a hot meal start to finish, or drink a whole cup of tea again. Hannah is honestly the best diet I have ever been on
8) Say goodbye to a good night's sleep. Even when they're in dreamland you will wake up to check on them...are they too hot/too cold/comfortable/still breathing?
9) You thank your lucky stars you only conceived the one baby and not the set of twins you were initially hoping for
10) You will find yourself late at night asking an infant, who cannot speak, what else you can possibly do to stop their crying, and waiting in vain for a response
At this same point (late late at night) you and your husband will turn on each other out of pure frustration and weeks of accumulated sleep deprivation. It's not worth it - being on the same team is critical. You need your spouse's love and support more than ever
11) Oh, the medical bills! You will find yourself facing a mountain of medical insurance jargon designed to both confuse and incite fear. All it basically means is that they're not prepared to pay for what the doctors deemed a "medical emergency"
12) No one really wants to help put your baby to sleep or allow her to remain in that state - they just want to play with her, even if it means you'll suffer the consequences later that same night. An overtired and overstimulated baby is no fun
13) Time is a luxury you no longer have - use it wisely! Use whatever resources you have at your disposal; do what you deem as most important and delegate/leave the rest for later
14) Taking hourly shifts either rocking Hannah or getting some sleep is the only way Matt and I manage to stay sane and not have broken backs in the morning. I never thought the day would arrive where I would be excited by the idea of going to bed at 8:30PM
15) You cannot spoil a child by loving/snuggling/holding her too much
16) Those moms who make it look so easy are either lying, or have loads of home help
17) And yes...one gorgeous smile, laugh or gurgle from Hannah makes it all worthwhile

On Being Pregnant

Being pregnant comes with a host of realisations:

1) I will never not be tired again. I thought this one would be reserved for after the baby's birth, but as it turns out you spend the first three months of pregnancy alternating between nausea and exhaustion, and as I hear the last three months uncomfortable and exhausted. I keep waiting for that three month sweet spot in the middle of pregnancy when I apparently get to be super-Jenny again
2) It is unlikely I will ever get to wake up at 10h00 again, pretend the world doesn't exist, and spend the rest of the day reading my favourite book or watching an entire season of my favourite series whilst wearing my most comfy pj's
3) Having to give birth is inevitable...and just a little scary
4) Everyone will have an opinion about your pregnancy and what you should and should not be doing
5) Having dedicated myself solely to childcare previously (being an au-pair) it occurs to me that trying to balance being a mom, a wife, an employee and managing a household may not be entirely the same experience
6) My OCPD will have to be overcome. My pristine grey fabric couch will never look the same again; our lounge will become the playroom; my complete set of duck egg cups and plates may not stay that way for very long and there will always be a pile of laundry to be done
7) I will be a little bit fat for a little while
8) My husband and I will have to adjust to decreased date nights; fewer long conversations and cuddles on the couch etc. Basically the time of being "just us two" is nearing an end, and I will probably have a more difficult time adjusting to this than my husband, so I try to savour the moments of togetherness while I still can
9) And finally babies can be expensive. Between doctors visits (that you thought would be covered by your medical aid but aren't); nappies; covering three months of unpaid maternity leave and childcare (once I'm back at work) there is alot to consider and save for

But then...I think about how I finally get to raise a child of my own; I think of how his/her hair will smell when I rock them to sleep at night; I think of pastel onesies and soft baby-sized socks; I think of staring down at the most beautiful face in the entire world whilst nursing; I think of watching soccer games with Matt, me and baby inbetween (dressed in team colours of course); I dream of passing on my love of nature and reading, and I think of what it will feel like to be called mom. I will finally understand that feeling of "having your heart walking around outside your body". I spend my time wondering if baby will be quiet, shy, sweet and creative or loud, sociable, mischevious and affectionate? Either way I know that his smile will melt my heart, in much the same way that his daddy's did.

Being pregnant is equal parts worry and excitement...and yet I wouldn't dream of having it any other way. I cannot wait to meet my baby and hold him in my arms