Strong Women - My Peas and Carrots

If you've ever watched Forrest Gump, you'll remember the scene when Forrest says, "Jenny and me was like peas and carrots".

I was lucky enough to find my peas and carrots at a young age. They are Keryn (Ker Bear), Taryn (Tally) and Heloise (Helu Belu). We all grew up in a tiny suburb within walking distance of one another (okay Helu was a very short train ride/car ride away). Ker and I became friends at age 10 and Helu and Tally became my friends at age 14 (that's 20 and 16 years of friendship respectively). Sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago, and at the same time I remember it like it was yesterday. No matter where in the world I/they go they will always be my best friends.

Keryn, Taryn, Me and Heloise

Our friendship has been cemented over many years and many firsts: first boyfriends, first breakups, braces, career choices, weddings, apartments, travels, books and one baby. That saying, "we'll always be friends because you know too much about me" rings so true for us. We've seen each other at our best and worst. We know each other's fears and secret desires. We are all so different from one another but somehow when we are together it just works. The best part of this foursome, is that when we are together we are capable of laughing so hard that our sides hurt and we're gasping for breath.

We're don't all live in the same city anymore but we will always be close to each other's hearts. Time has marched on, and we don't chat as often, what with careers and families of our own, but I know that if I ever need them, they will be there.

I proudly introduce you to them all:
TALLY:
Right now Tally is a hedge fund manager (am I right Tal?) living in Cape Town. She is creative (paints, writes songs, plays guitar and sings), funny and a social butterfly. Tally loves her family and good wine (equally I think ;) and is so great at getting groups of people together and getting along.

Some of my favourite Tally memories are sleepovers at her house, followed by watching Fifth Element and Armageddon (they were on the same VHS cassette) whilst consuming copious amounts of butter popcorn.

When I first met Tally she told me the following joke, and I just knew we were going to be great friends, "what did the fish say when it swam into the wall - dam".

HELU:
Helu is a doctor, and she works with newborn babies (am I right Helu?). Heloise is part mom (in the supportive catch you when you fall sense), part person who tells you things you aren't necessarily ready to hear, but may need to.

Heloise doesn't crack under pressure, and I think her mom described her best when she said that, "heloise makes her own wind". Where there is a will there is a way, and Helu has alot of will.  She is incredibly successful and has become so through her own doing.

Helu and I can talk about everything and nothing for hours on end (she and I are the only Durbanites left) and we both love to spend hours trawling Exclusive Books.

One of my favourite Helu memories is her inviting me to her house for a visit, and me going over there in tracksuit pants and a sweatshirt, only to find her in her pj's. That's true comfortable friendship right there.

KER BEAR:
Ker Bear is my oldest friend. Ker and I love to read and talk, and sometimes we read and talk about travel (our other love). Making Ker laugh is the best.

Ker is that friend who always wakes up early, bakes and cooks, can tile a floor, has a measuring tape in her bag when you suddenly need one, as well as that girl you message when you're in Durban and she's in London who can find that florist from that one time years ago, when your wedding is coming up and you've hit full panic mode. She can do things like that you know (even from the UK where she now lives). Ker is a geologist (not a meteorologist) with two honours degrees (because sometimes one isn't enough).

My favourite memory of Ker is living with her, pouring a glass of wine, putting on a girlie movie, pressing pause after 5 mins to quickly chat about something and realising 2.5 hours later that we never watched the movie.

I am beyond blessed to know and love each one of these strong women. I miss you guys so much and love you all (you can thank me later for not putting up any pics from when we were teenagers).

I'm Back!!!

Hi all, I'm back.  Sorry for the long absence. I started my new job this Monday gone past and have been in bed early every night this week. What is it about a new job that completely fries your brain? I suppose somewhere between learning everybody's name (and trying to remember it); figuring out where the bathroom and paper shredder is located as well as coming to grips with your new position and tasks, there isn't much room or energy left for very much else. But nevermind, because next week will be better!

A word on my new job (which I will blog about another time) - Matthew and I are firm believers in the power of prayer. When this job opportunity came up, although I really wanted it, our prayer wasn't "please Lord let Jenn get this job" it was "Lord if this job is the right one for Jenn, then please let her get it". It was a subtle difference but an important one. It was having faith that if something was meant to be, it would be, instead of having a heart full of fear and following our own desires based on that fear. And then once it was confirmed that I'd be appointed there was a whole lotta "thank you, thank you, thank you" prayers, because let's be honest there was no way I'd be getting this job so soon if it wasn't for Him.

So what did we get up to this weekend? On Friday night my sister and I explored the Musgrave Centre Rooftop Night Market. I was pleasantly surprised! Many of the I Heart Market vendors were there, which meant that my favourite homemade kiddies' clothes, second-hand refurbished clothes, one of a kind designer clothing, jewellery, wooden boards with quirky sayings and yummy eats were on display. Do yourself a favour and skip making dinner on this particular Friday night and instead indulge in some yummy Colombo coffee/smoothies/homemade lemonade followed by a stirfry/wrap/prego roll/Greek delicacy and then finish off the evening with a Wicked Donut (these were sold out by the time we left!).  Think of flavours such as peanut butter blast or nutella filled doughnut holes. Yum!

Local musical talent performs in turn. There was a Matthew Mole-esque guitarist performing earlier in the evening.

The market packed to capacity already.

People with awesome hair like this hang out there. They really do.

We were lucky to get there early enough, and you should to, because it does tend to get manic later on in the evening, and you'll be fighting it out for a spot to sit.

The market is held the first Friday of every month. You should be there!

The next day I attended the "Women of Worth 2015" ladies tea at LIV Village with Natz. We were spoilt with cappuccinos and sweet treats made by the ladies trained at the culinary school, lovely handmade gifts, four amazing guest speakers, some worship, and a fashion show put on by the female teenagers who live at the village.  They were displaying the accessories which are made by local ladies in the factory and sold in the little shop (both located on-site). Just for your information if you are looking for gorgeous one of a kind gifts please look here. They stock beautiful baby onesies, baby booties, bags, cushions, shirts, keyring etc.  100% of the profit goes to the children who stay in the village.

The story of how LIV Village came to be is an amazing one, which you can read about here: http://www.liv-village.com
That story alone moved me to tears (which if you know me, you'll know it's not hard to do) but what really touched me was Kimberly's story: of how she fell in love with her husband (I'm a major sucker for romance), their five little ones and their missionary work. She spoke of how the greatest praise/worship which we can offer to God is not in our moments of fame or glory, but rather in our most desperate moments. She started singing then and I don't think there was a dry eye in the house!  I am so glad I had the opportunity to attend this event.
To read Kimberly's story go here: http://www.bobandkimberly.com

They are also starting an outreach programme called "Extreme Love" within the next two months, so I can't wait to see what that's about.

Enjoy some pics from the day below:

Have a good week all of you. I hope to be back again this week, but won't make any promises.  I will be back to my old self and blog from next week for sure.

Feature on Strong Women: Anubha Cook

Anubha Cook and her killer smile

This is how I remember Anubha (my host mom from Seattle, Washington where I worked as an au-pair for her family); studying in her PJ's with a smile on her face.

Anubha was/is a rock star momma.  By the time I met Anubha, she had already completed her BSc, worked in the field completing EIAs (Environmental Impact Assessments) for large corporations, and had then decided that what she really wanted to be was a pharmacist, and so she went back to the University of Washington to study for her pharmacy degree full time. All of this whilst being a full time wife, and mother to three children under the age of 5 years.

I was an apprehensive 18 year old when I arrived, having never lived away from home and here I was moving in with a vegetarian family half-way around the world, and agreeing to take care of three small children on a daily basis.  Anubha was incredibly gracious and kind to me, teaching me so many things at such a young age, which would change my world view forever.  On my homesick days Anubha would make me custard pudding with sliced bananas, and when I was sick she would give me a head massage with essential oils.  No matter how exhausted Anubha was there was always more to give.

A typical day for Anubha involved going off to the University at the crack of dawn (which was a good 40 minutes driving distance away) followed by coming home late afternoon, a good hour of snuggles and playtime for the little ones and then making the most delicious, healthy vegetarian dishes (dahl's, chipathis, pastas, pizzas etc was always on the menu).  I wasn't sure whether I was going to like this vegetarian food having been raised in a very Afrikaans family (i.e. we like our meat) but man oh man I think I only ate meat twice the whole year I was there and I gained a good 10 kg's.  But I digress, Anubha always had time for the kids no matter how exhausted she was, the family always came first.  Sara would help her in the kitchen every night (at the tender age of 2 years), making special chipathis just for me and Anubha had an incredible level of patience with them all.  I think in the year I was there Anubha raised her voice only once.  It showed in the children's behaviour and confidence, that they truly were happy, healthy and well-loved.

In the evenings we would all gather around the dining room table for our meal and chat about our day, and after dinner instead of the usual T.V. time (there was only one television in the house located in my room) the kids would partake in arts and crafts; making structures out of the homemade playdough Anubha made for them; we would get involved in homemade science projects and most of all we would read (Dr Seuss was our favourite, but Ben was also reading 'The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' to the children).

Ben (my host dad) was/is a rock star dad.  I have this clear vision in my head of Ben leaving Anubha to study over the weekend and piling all three kids in the van for a Costco trip.  He would then push Sara in one trolley in front of him, Arjun in another trolley behind him and Sohan strapped to his chest whilst he did the monthly grocery shopping.  There are very few men who would have the patience and love to do this for their family.

Anubha, Ben and the children under the pear tree which I pruned

Our favourite afternoon activity was picking (and eating) the many types of fruit which grew in the garden.  The fruit which we grew included: blueberries, raspberries, green grapes and pears.  It was also a big teaching moment for the children to learn where fruit which we buy in the store comes from and how by photosynthesis fruit is able to grow.  Arjun especially, was like a sponge with a thirst for knowledge and moments like this became our way of learning together.

I remember writing to my mom in shock, explaining that Anubha and Ben owned no kettle or iron.  I learned to make do with what we had, and it helped me to realise that you don't really need all the things that you think you do.  Sohan, the cutest, happiest, healthiest baby had no special facecloth, hooded towel, baby products, changing mat or crib.  It was a big moment for me to learn that there is very little one genuinely needs in order to raise a baby.

Anubha taught me so much (probably more than I can think to include here) but here follows what I learnt from my year with her:
- Vegetarian food is so yummy. Good food may take more time but it is so worth it
- One doesn't need a lot of money in order to be happy, and live a fulfilling life
- To mother is a verb, a daily choice and an action.  It is a privilege and not a right

Arjun, Anubha and Sara

Sara, Anubha, Arjun and baby Sohan

- Family comes first always
- Mixed race babies are beautiful
- Time outs and explaining the consequences on one's behaviour is way more effective as a disciplinary tool than physical punishment
- Children don't need complicated electronic gadgets to be happy.  They're much happier outside picking and eating fruit; playing dress-up and using their imagination; exploring the inside of a library; or at an arts and crafts table with some glue, a pair of blunt nose scissors, paper, paint and playdough. 
- It's okay for the house to be messy and clothes not to be ironed.  It's far more important that your family are well taken care of and happy.  This is still a hard one for me (I am my mother's child after all).  Childen also need to be able to make a mess in order to learn

Sara covered in her favourite 'Roghurt' as she called it

Sohan covered in spaghetti sauce learning to feed himself

Sohan eating yummy chipathis

- Patience in all things is key
- In order to be successful in life you need a husband who is prepared to be an equal partner, who supports and loves you through it all
- No matter how much you really wanted that last croissant or bagel, when your children ask for it, you suddenly really didn't feel like it

I can never thank Anubha and Ben enough for welcoming me into their home, and allowing me the privilege of taking care of and loving their children.  It was in Seattle that I realised that 'Everything Happens for a Reason'.  God gives us exactly what we need in order to grow and learn.  This truly was one of my happiest years.

Arjun or Juni as we called him on his first day headed to Sanislo Elementary School.  The children and I planted the pink flowers.



Christmas Eve with the family

Goodbye dinner for my friend Dorothea