A Change In Perspective

Being grateful is a lesson I learn over and over again.

Yesterday I was doing something I felt I ought to, which I felt responsible to do, but which I was doing with an ungrateful heart.

Whilst I was out buying groceries and pondering my situation, I noticed a man behind me with a bag of bare bones in his hand.  It was his dinner. He had left it at the till earlier that day because, after weighing it, he realised he couldn't afford it and had to go back outside (where he worked as a car guard) to make more money. My heart broke. Sometimes (especially in S.A.) you see so much poverty and desperation that you become immune to it. Something about this man was different. When I looked into his eyes I saw such sadness and desperation. I couldn't look away or ignore the situation so, tears in my eyes, I paid for my groceries and waited for him.
I gave him what cash I had on me and he didn't ask why, he just accepted it and said thank you. I feel like on so many occassions God presents me with a situation, and in doing so teaches me a valuable lesson.

On a daily basis we worry about so many stupid things, feeling pity for ourselves and envy for others; complaining about what we perceive to be the worst situation.
We forget that as unhappy as we may sometimes be with our lives that there is someone out there who would trade places with us in a heartbeat; who envies what you and I take for granted. I thought about our rusted, somewhat broken and unreliable car that up until yesterday was the bane of my existence. After meeting that man I took a good look around me at all those who either walk to work or who wait for public transport (often catching two taxis or more to get where they need to be) because they can't afford a vehicle. How lucky are we?

I realised yesterday that I have forgotten where I have come from. Back when I was waitressing for a living, I had only one pair of black pumps which I wore for every one of my five shifts a week. They were smelly and holey, and yet I wore them because they were the only pair I could afford. There were so many customers who were incredibly kind to me during that period of my life.

What happened yesterday reminded me of a conversation Matt and I had recently. Having just moved, I grew tired of unpacking night after night. Before we knew it a month had gone by and only three quarters of our boxes had been unpacked, yet we had all the essentials we needed to get by on a daily basis. We sat and wondered at what was in those remaining boxes and whether we really had any use for what was inside of them. I've come to realise that we have more than enough stuff for one lifetime.

I have therefore made a promise to myself that each time I intend to buy something I don't need this coming year, that I think about that man.

I want to spend this year giving back and giving away, not spending and accumulating more.

And that will be my New Year's resolution.

Taking The Good From The Bad

I share this story with trepidation, but hope that in doing so I can help someone who may be struggling with something similar in their own lives.

I don't have a great relationship with my father, in fact at the moment I don't have a relationship with him at all. Most of the time I'm okay with this, but sometimes in certain situations, like seeing an amazing dad taking good care of his children, or hearing a father's kind words to his daughter I hit a bit of a wobbly and I'll admit, it brings me down.

My dad has never been a great father or role model to me, but last week after mulling it over in my quiet time and after numerous pep talks from my husband (also known as my rock) I decided that although I can't go back in time and choose what type of dad I ended up with, I can choose how I look at the situation.

My dad may have lacked a great many much needed emotional qualities but I can take my deep love of books, and poetry in particular from him; my love of National Geographic writers and photographers; nature and hiking; as well as an above average appreciation for amazing photography.

I may be the only child I know of who at a young age visited every cultural site, museum and nature reserve in Durban thanks to my dad, and because of that I will pass these types of experiences onto my own children one day. At a young age this fuelled my inquisitive mind and my love of stories.

He is partly responsible for my brown hair, blue eyes and stellar organisational skills (aka OCPD).

Because of my dad, I didn't choose just any husband, I chose one whose love is unconditional, and who cherishes me daily. I chose a husband who will be an amazing father to our future children one day: tender, supportive and responsible.

Because of my dad I know I will do everything in my power to create a happy, loving home and family.  My children (when I have them one day) will always feel safe and supported.

I am who I am partly due to him: a survivor; independent and stronger because of him in a weird way.

What I learnt from this week, is that no matter what situation you are struggling with at the moment, instead of focussing on the negative (which is a heck of alot easier to do) always...always try to take the good from the bad.

An Ode To Projects Completed

Guys, we finally finished painting our headboard, and by we, I mean Matt. I am so happy with how it turned out. Below is a photo of the finished product, which will only be hung once we move (as I don't want to have to re-paint an entire wall at this stage).

He did such a great job - thanks Matt!

I did eventually take a photo of that yummy chocolate pudding, which I enjoyed with a glass of red wine (thanks Amanda)

My sister-in-law Shekinah's music video was released on South African television and it is being played at least once an hour on 5FM and East Coast Radio. She has such an amazing voice and we are so incredibly proud of her!

To watch the video go here:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7xhaN_CPriw

Matt and I are joining Christoff and Marguerite (a couple from church) at their house once a week for Story Sessions.  It's been interesting so far, learning about each person's life story and their journey with Christ.  Plus the bacon and cheese muffins which Christoff made were delish!

Matt and I finally hiked the blue trail at Krantzkloof, which was about 2 hours long and relatively flat, so a great option for families with younger children.  It also ends with a waterfall (in the rainy season) which is an added bonus.

For anyone looking for free group exercise sessions in Durban, there's the Park Run (or walk) on the North Beach promenade on Saturdays at 8AM (but you have to register online first), as well as Club 117 which offers group training sessions in Bulwer park on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons and Saturday mornings. If you want more information visit their Facebook site.

And just because it's funny and I forgot to tell you all, the day my mom arrived from Taiwan was a doosy. We got home from the airport (a good 30-40 minute drive away) only to realise my mom had collected somebody else's suitcase. She called the airport helpdesk and they let her know that her suitcase was there and she could come to collect it. She was advised to contact the person whose luggage she had taken, and arrange directly with them to meet and hand their luggage over.

So my mom got back into the car to drive to the airport. When she got there she was told she couldn't collect her luggage until she handed over the other person's luggage (which was safely tucked away at my sister's house). After some negotiation, my mom was finally allowed to take her luggage home. My mom can be persuasive when she wants to be.

In the meantime, my sister and I managed to find a business card in one of the bag pockets which had a web address on it, which in turn lead to a mobile number. When we eventually managed to get hold of him, it turned out Mr Uwe Schmolke had already travelled to Margate (a good hour and a half away) and needed his diving equipment and wetsuit (which was in his suitcase) before sunrise the next morning, which was the first dive of his underwater photography trip. So off my mom went again, this time to the central bus terminal to buy a 'seat' for the suitcase to travel to Margate, where Mr Schmolke would eventually collect it.

It is never a dull day with my mom around!

So what I learnt from this experience is:
1) Always check that your luggage is indeed YOUR luggage
2) I think it's pretty amazing when people use their vacation time/travels and combine it with their passions, whether it's through a working holiday or volunteering
3) Mr Schmolke has some pretty cool underwater photographs which you can view here: http://www.underwaterphotography.com/photo-contest/default.aspx?MID=38368

Whatever you get up to this weekend, I hope you have an amazing time with your loved ones.

The Power of Putting Pen to Paper

I am a firm believer in the power of putting pen to paper. Whatever situation it is that you're struggling with: finding the right person to share your life with; the right job; home; sorting out a financial life plan; sticking to a diet or exercise plan etc. My husband thinks that makes me a bit loopy, but it works. There's something about seeing an idea/wish/goal in black and white that makes it achievable and helps keep you on track.

6 months before I met Matt I sat down and wrote out a list of qualities I wanted in the person I next dated. I didn't hold back and when the list was done I had 21 points in total. It was very specific, and though I knew the chances of meeting a guy with all 21 qualities was slim, I hoped anyway. I knew the list would keep me from dating someone whom I was horribly incompatible with (yet again) and also help me recognize Mr Right when he did come along.  More importantly, I knew that if I did meet this person we would value and want the same things in life.

My husband has 20 of those 21 qualities and I have never been happier or more loved. Matt is my best friend, and even in the toughest of times we still have fun together.

I pulled out the old journal again recently, went alone to my favourite happy place - Durban Botanical Gardens - and wrote out a list for my ideal job. I was as specific as possible, writing out what field of work I wanted to be in; what area of Durban I wanted to work in; my ideal hours; my starting salary; even going as far as to describe my ideal boss. A week later I had my job, after weeks of searching. It is exactly what I need at this point in my life. My boss makes me feel valued and appreciated, which is worth is worth it's weight in gold to me. My husband and I now get to travel to work together everyday, and I get home in time to make us both a decent dinner and still have energy left over to spend some quality time with Matt and indulge in my hobbies when the mood takes me.

On our fridge I have put up our financial plan for the near future. Seeing it everyday reminds us of what it is we're working towards, and nothing is more rewarding than ticking off each mini goal as it's accomplished. It reminds us that though some days may be hard, we are slowly making our way toward the life we have envisioned.

We will be moving soon and you can be sure that before we even start to look at potential properties that I will have our list ready. This will help me to know where we are willing to compromise and where we are not. It doesn't mean we will necessarily end up with our dream home, but that we will get the most for our money and end up with a home that makes us far happier than the place we are currently in (which I swear is getting busier and noisier by the day).

Please try it. I hope it works for you.

What A Weekend!

Guys what an amazing weekend! Durban doesn't always have alot on the go but when they have one event I want to attend, at the same time they'll also have another three.

Over one weekend was the Durban July, the Mr Price Pro surfing event in Ballito, the East Coast Radio House and Garden Show and the Creative Energy Quilting Festival 2015.

I attended the latter two.

The Quilting Festival was held at Kearsney College in Botha's Hill. A R50 entrance fee entitled you to access to the retail stores; demonstrations and lectures on many arts and crafts; and the most amazing exhibition. There were some pretty tasty food stall options as well.

Let me just say that I wasn't quite sure what to expect from the experience, but I was ultimately completely blown away. I think of quilting as set patterns and techniques, and pastel colours but what these women and men did with quilting was like seeing people paint with fabric. There were so many colours and interpretations of the themes of the competition. I must have taken close to 40 photographs. Each quilt was so special and unique, it was hard to choose a favourite. Also if it is possible to get high on colour, then I did. I came home so hyped up that my husband didn't know what to do with me.

Enjoy some pics from the day:

A Kearsney library bookshelf entered by one of the Kearsney Community

A nature scene during Autumn

I love the blue and yellow combination

Combining quilting and crocheting

All of the beautiful colours

Inspired by gardens

Inspired by Zulu beaded baskets

Painting with fabrics - a rowboat on a lake

Inspired by her Ouma's garden

A city under construction

Produced using a photograph of her parents

Autumn colours

Made entirely from tiny square pieces of fabric

The three trees represent three generations of crafters and gardeners in her family. She's the last one. I love her use of the buttons.

My mom and I taking in the retail stores

I think this may be my favourite. Made by a lady whilst lying down recovering from a back operation. Her inspiration was a photograph from her and her husband's travels to Namibia. I wish you could see the fine detail on this one

I'm not sure my photographs do any justice to the time, effort and detail that went into making each one of these beautiful quilts. Some were for sale, but others understandably were not.

Exhibitors and retailers come to this event from all over the world: South Africa, different parts of the USA, Hungary etc. The next event will be held in Port Elizabeth, South Africa in 2017.  I feel so lucky to have made it to this event whilst it was in my city.

Everyone we met and spoke to was so friendly and helpful. I discovered that there is a store in Hillcrest, Amafu, that sells quilting supplies and fabrics, and offers lessons. I want to sign up for the beginners quilt which teaches you 7 different techniques which you can then use to make other quilts. It will be my gift to myself. I even bought some fabric sticks whilst I was there, to get me started.

I also found out that the quilters guild holds their quarterly meetings at a school down the road from me, and they sell quilts after the meetings as well. What a small world.

So glad that I got to enjoy such an amazing day with my mom as well.

Strong Women - My Peas and Carrots

If you've ever watched Forrest Gump, you'll remember the scene when Forrest says, "Jenny and me was like peas and carrots".

I was lucky enough to find my peas and carrots at a young age. They are Keryn (Ker Bear), Taryn (Tally) and Heloise (Helu Belu). We all grew up in a tiny suburb within walking distance of one another (okay Helu was a very short train ride/car ride away). Ker and I became friends at age 10 and Helu and Tally became my friends at age 14 (that's 20 and 16 years of friendship respectively). Sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago, and at the same time I remember it like it was yesterday. No matter where in the world I/they go they will always be my best friends.

Keryn, Taryn, Me and Heloise

Our friendship has been cemented over many years and many firsts: first boyfriends, first breakups, braces, career choices, weddings, apartments, travels, books and one baby. That saying, "we'll always be friends because you know too much about me" rings so true for us. We've seen each other at our best and worst. We know each other's fears and secret desires. We are all so different from one another but somehow when we are together it just works. The best part of this foursome, is that when we are together we are capable of laughing so hard that our sides hurt and we're gasping for breath.

We're don't all live in the same city anymore but we will always be close to each other's hearts. Time has marched on, and we don't chat as often, what with careers and families of our own, but I know that if I ever need them, they will be there.

I proudly introduce you to them all:
TALLY:
Right now Tally is a hedge fund manager (am I right Tal?) living in Cape Town. She is creative (paints, writes songs, plays guitar and sings), funny and a social butterfly. Tally loves her family and good wine (equally I think ;) and is so great at getting groups of people together and getting along.

Some of my favourite Tally memories are sleepovers at her house, followed by watching Fifth Element and Armageddon (they were on the same VHS cassette) whilst consuming copious amounts of butter popcorn.

When I first met Tally she told me the following joke, and I just knew we were going to be great friends, "what did the fish say when it swam into the wall - dam".

HELU:
Helu is a doctor, and she works with newborn babies (am I right Helu?). Heloise is part mom (in the supportive catch you when you fall sense), part person who tells you things you aren't necessarily ready to hear, but may need to.

Heloise doesn't crack under pressure, and I think her mom described her best when she said that, "heloise makes her own wind". Where there is a will there is a way, and Helu has alot of will.  She is incredibly successful and has become so through her own doing.

Helu and I can talk about everything and nothing for hours on end (she and I are the only Durbanites left) and we both love to spend hours trawling Exclusive Books.

One of my favourite Helu memories is her inviting me to her house for a visit, and me going over there in tracksuit pants and a sweatshirt, only to find her in her pj's. That's true comfortable friendship right there.

KER BEAR:
Ker Bear is my oldest friend. Ker and I love to read and talk, and sometimes we read and talk about travel (our other love). Making Ker laugh is the best.

Ker is that friend who always wakes up early, bakes and cooks, can tile a floor, has a measuring tape in her bag when you suddenly need one, as well as that girl you message when you're in Durban and she's in London who can find that florist from that one time years ago, when your wedding is coming up and you've hit full panic mode. She can do things like that you know (even from the UK where she now lives). Ker is a geologist (not a meteorologist) with two honours degrees (because sometimes one isn't enough).

My favourite memory of Ker is living with her, pouring a glass of wine, putting on a girlie movie, pressing pause after 5 mins to quickly chat about something and realising 2.5 hours later that we never watched the movie.

I am beyond blessed to know and love each one of these strong women. I miss you guys so much and love you all (you can thank me later for not putting up any pics from when we were teenagers).

Jenn's Favourite Places - Krantzkloof Nature Reserve

This weekend gone past Matt and I went to Krantzkloof Nature Reserve to hike. This may be my most favourite thing to do in the whole wide world. It may also be Matthew's least favourite thing, but he does it with me anyway because he loves me.

I love it so much, because within a half hour of leaving home I can forget that I live in the city.  It's quiet and peaceful and my heart feels full being outdoors.

Some useful information to remember if you're headed there is that there is an entrance fee to use the facilities i.e. even if you're not hiking and you're just going for a picnic you'll still need to pay an entrance fee of R20 per adult and R10 per child, unless you can present a Rhino card.

Secondly there are some great picnic and braai areas to use before or after your hike.

There are many trails to choose from but we usually end up going on the black trail which offers amazing views of the gorge, as well as a view of both the top and bottom of the waterfall.  Next on my list is the white or blue trail (which Matt is hoping I forget about between now and when we go again).

Enjoy some pics from the hike:

Matthew makes fun of my shoes all the time, but I have yet to slip or trip in these bad boy Merrells

Gorgeous views of the gorge. We were also lucky enough that day to see a hawk riding the thermals in their characteristic upward circular pattern.

Everytime we pass this tiny stone house with its fireplace sitting on the edge of the cliff I tell Matt that I'm going to live there one day.

What is normally the top of a cascading waterfall during the rainy season

Rock Hyrax hiding spot and our break point

I felt so proud of us nearing the end of our hike, until this tiny girl came past us running up the trail. Once we had completed the hike we were relaxing at one of the picnic tables only to see her run past us again on her way to another trail. Oh you crazy trailrunners you! One day that will be me.

Cool woodland creatures which you should be on the lookout for include the rock hyrax. Although we didn't see any this time, we have before. The trick is you have to be very, very quiet (not so easy for me).

This is normally the cascading waterfall. I will have to go back in summer to show you what it really looks like

Halfway point selfies

Seasonal wildflowers

Fern forest

And I know I'm going to sound like a Mom now but please pack the following for any hike because it's better to be prepared than sorry: lots of water, snacks, sunscreen and a lightweight jacket in case the weather turns. Please also leave any valuables in the car where possible. And lastly wear comfy shoes with lots of grip. We were lucky this time in that the trail was quite dry but I've been there before when it's muddy and it is slippery! 

Till next time folks :-)

I'm Back!!!

Hi all, I'm back.  Sorry for the long absence. I started my new job this Monday gone past and have been in bed early every night this week. What is it about a new job that completely fries your brain? I suppose somewhere between learning everybody's name (and trying to remember it); figuring out where the bathroom and paper shredder is located as well as coming to grips with your new position and tasks, there isn't much room or energy left for very much else. But nevermind, because next week will be better!

A word on my new job (which I will blog about another time) - Matthew and I are firm believers in the power of prayer. When this job opportunity came up, although I really wanted it, our prayer wasn't "please Lord let Jenn get this job" it was "Lord if this job is the right one for Jenn, then please let her get it". It was a subtle difference but an important one. It was having faith that if something was meant to be, it would be, instead of having a heart full of fear and following our own desires based on that fear. And then once it was confirmed that I'd be appointed there was a whole lotta "thank you, thank you, thank you" prayers, because let's be honest there was no way I'd be getting this job so soon if it wasn't for Him.

So what did we get up to this weekend? On Friday night my sister and I explored the Musgrave Centre Rooftop Night Market. I was pleasantly surprised! Many of the I Heart Market vendors were there, which meant that my favourite homemade kiddies' clothes, second-hand refurbished clothes, one of a kind designer clothing, jewellery, wooden boards with quirky sayings and yummy eats were on display. Do yourself a favour and skip making dinner on this particular Friday night and instead indulge in some yummy Colombo coffee/smoothies/homemade lemonade followed by a stirfry/wrap/prego roll/Greek delicacy and then finish off the evening with a Wicked Donut (these were sold out by the time we left!).  Think of flavours such as peanut butter blast or nutella filled doughnut holes. Yum!

Local musical talent performs in turn. There was a Matthew Mole-esque guitarist performing earlier in the evening.

The market packed to capacity already.

People with awesome hair like this hang out there. They really do.

We were lucky to get there early enough, and you should to, because it does tend to get manic later on in the evening, and you'll be fighting it out for a spot to sit.

The market is held the first Friday of every month. You should be there!

The next day I attended the "Women of Worth 2015" ladies tea at LIV Village with Natz. We were spoilt with cappuccinos and sweet treats made by the ladies trained at the culinary school, lovely handmade gifts, four amazing guest speakers, some worship, and a fashion show put on by the female teenagers who live at the village.  They were displaying the accessories which are made by local ladies in the factory and sold in the little shop (both located on-site). Just for your information if you are looking for gorgeous one of a kind gifts please look here. They stock beautiful baby onesies, baby booties, bags, cushions, shirts, keyring etc.  100% of the profit goes to the children who stay in the village.

The story of how LIV Village came to be is an amazing one, which you can read about here: http://www.liv-village.com
That story alone moved me to tears (which if you know me, you'll know it's not hard to do) but what really touched me was Kimberly's story: of how she fell in love with her husband (I'm a major sucker for romance), their five little ones and their missionary work. She spoke of how the greatest praise/worship which we can offer to God is not in our moments of fame or glory, but rather in our most desperate moments. She started singing then and I don't think there was a dry eye in the house!  I am so glad I had the opportunity to attend this event.
To read Kimberly's story go here: http://www.bobandkimberly.com

They are also starting an outreach programme called "Extreme Love" within the next two months, so I can't wait to see what that's about.

Enjoy some pics from the day below:

Have a good week all of you. I hope to be back again this week, but won't make any promises.  I will be back to my old self and blog from next week for sure.