Lessons I Have Learnt From My First Year Of Marriage - Part 1

So our first year wedding anniversary is approaching (24 May 2015) and even though it's a ways off I thought I would start posting now about the lessons I have learnt from our first year of togetherness (there are alot). I have heard from many people that the first year of marriage is the toughest, and whilst I'm not sure how true that is (as I have nothing to compare it to), I do know that even though Matthew and I were together for 4 years before we got married, I still had so much to learn about him, and he about me, as well as what it means to be husband and wife.

1) Marriage (being a husband or wife) is a job/role which needs to be taken just as seriously as any other. That means making a daily choice to care for the one you love: whether that means cooking a yummy meal, washing the dishes and laundry or lending a sympathetic ear. It means making the time as well as financial allowances for date nights. When they do happen it means making the effort to look (and smell) great. We should never stop trying to woo our partner. Marriage shouldn't be taken for granted - like a plant it needs to be tended to daily in order to flourish and thrive.
2) Marriage means saying you're sorry. It turns our some people need to hear this. This is a difficult one for me - I didn't grow up hearing it and so never really learnt to say it. I can feel sorry for what I've done and show you that I'm sorry, but to physically say it has taken alot from my side. I still struggle with this one, but I'm trying because it means so much to Matt.
3) Marriage means giving your partner their alone time when it's needed. Each person should be able to spend time doing whatever it is they most enjoy: reading a book; playing soccer or spending quality time with a friend. Time apart is healthy and neccessary sometimes.
4) Marriage means talking it out. Matt and I are both passive and conflict averse, so on the upside our house is a pleasant place to be in because we both hate fighting and voices raised in anger. On the downside, when we are angry or upset we shut down and go silent. It's taken alot from both of us to 'learn to use our words' as the therapists say. I've officially decreased my silent time from the 3 days which it used to be, to maybe 30 minutes at a stretch. We always finish an argument with Matt telling me what a great job I'm doing.
5) I've realised that I have a much more traditional view regarding what a wife should be, as well as what kind of wife I want to be.  Believe me when I say that no one was more surprised than me. I derive great joy and satisfaction from feeding my husband and keeping our household in good running order. My husband in turn loves and appreciates me for that, and tells me so, which makes me so happy.

Us on our wedding day

Matt watching soccer and Jenn doing a great job pretending to watch soccer

Dinner with my mom on my 29th birthday

My handsome husband 

This list is not over folks - look out for part 2.  It may be interesting to hear from Matt what he feels he has learnt (though the list may be much shorter than mine).

I hope you have a lovely evening with your family. Tonight is scrabble evening in our household. I will let you know who wins ;)